Trouble With Kids
by A. G. Moria
Summary: The servants of the great Shadow Lord set off on an adventrue to save him from another devil fruit users power. Best summary I can give without giving much away by the way.
1. Chapter 1: Shadowy Surprise

**Disclaimer: I don't own One Piece or the characters but it would be awesome if I did.**

Days went by without word from their master, so Perona, Hogsback, and Absalom got together to decide who should be the one to check up on him. All three of them were outside his bedroom and had a straw in each of their hands. As the straw was picked the person who had the shortest instantly cried out in desperation.

"NOOOOOOOO"! Perona shrieked. "THIS IS SO UN-CUTE AND SO UNFAIR I SWEAR ONE OF YOU BOYS FIXED THIS WHOLE SYSTEM"! The high pitched sound of her voice caused both men to quickly cover their ears.

"Shut up you annoying princess and go check up on him"! Hogsback silenced. Before she knew anything else the two males shoved her inside the room and she heard them running down the hallway.

"Damn those un-cute men". Perona mumbled.

She opened up her umbrella and walked around the corner to his bed. Not such a big surprise when she saw that he wasn't there, but an unusual cry caught her attention. Quickly the ghost princess ran to the giant pillow at the back of the room and was completely caught off guard at what she saw.

"A baby Moria"! Perona questioned.

Yes, right there in the middle of the pillow was Moria but as a baby covered in a small blanket.

"How the hell did you become a baby version of yourself"! She ranted.

Her high pitched scream sent him into tears and his wails broke many octaves and many windows. Instantly she grabbed up the small baby and sent a ghost through him. He said something depressing in baby talk and stopped crying much to her pleasure.

Hogsback and Absalom had run back to the medical laboratory and were having tea with Cindry and Hildon when Perona came back with the red haired babe, and no it wasn't Shanks.

"C-Cindry we needed those plates to eat our bagels on"! Hogsback freaked out.

"Relax Dr. Hogsback at least she doesn't break our wine glasses". Hildon calmed.

"I wonder how Perona's doing with Master-sama". Absalom questioned. "Oi Cindry did the servants serve him any uncooked food or something"?

"No word of uncooked food has been spread throughout Thriller Bark but talk of that pirate we caught the other day has been around". She stated. "You know the one who could change people's ages, and I do believe that she had a devil fruit power". The three boys looked at her now knowing the situation. Their master was most likely in danger.

"SOMEONE TAKE THIS BABY FROM MY ARMS BEFORE I MEAN TO DROP HIM ON THE GROUND"! Perona yelled.

All four of them looked over at the door and found Perona carrying tiny baby. "Da hell, wait that's Moria"! Hogsback said.

"No way, what the hell happened to the poor soul"! Absalom laughed.

"It seems as if that devil fruit user turned him into a baby". Cindry bluntly said.

"Yeah thanks for stating the obvious plate killer". Hildon snapped and then grabbed his nose. The five of them quickly took notice of the smell coming from the bowls of the baby.

"Alright here's what we'll do we'll draw straws". Absalom declared.

"HELL NO"! Perona yelled.

"Fine then you two girls take care of his little problem". Hogsback said.

"It's because we're girls isn't it"? Cindry sighed. "Why don't you take care of this Absalom, besides you like looking at naked people"?

"Hell no"! He shouted. "I only like to look at naked hot girls! Make the doctor here do it instead after all he is a doctor"!

"No way in fucking hell am I about to change that man"! Hogsback clearly declared. The four of them then noticed that the smell had suddenly vanished. Hildon had changed Moria and sat him on the table as the others looked at him with shock.

"What it's just like taking apart a sandwich and putting it back together". Hildon stated.

Either way the others just continued to stare at him completely surprised at what he had just done. "Hey don't we have to find that devil fruit user and make her change him back"? Hildon broke the silence.

"Well the good news is she couldn't have gotten that far I mean we let he go about a week ago". Perona said.

"It's hopeless of finding her then"! Absalom barked. Baby Moria then began to cry again. "Although we sure as hell can try"! He shouted over the crying.

**Kishishish, this chapter is done. Wait for the next one if you would my readers, and while you're waiting the review button is completely clickable. **


	2. Chapter 2: A Plan For The Planless

**Disclaimer by the non claimer: I swear on me soul that I don't own One Piece but it would be so awesome if I did!**

The mysterious devil fruit user sulked in her room aboard her ship in total darkness. "Dammit how the hell am I supposed to achieve all my dreams in life now when I can't stand underneath sunlight"! She cried. "Damn that Moria he deserved what he got, and by now he should've starved to death! Then when he dies my shadow will come back"! The poor girl had no idea that even if he died the shadows still wouldn't return to their former masters no matter what unless purified.

Back at Thriller Bark at the same exact time…..

Cindry had gotten their tiny master to become silent by rocking him back and forth in her arms to put him to sleep while the others tried to come up with a good plan that would most likely work. "Yeah well we got bull shit when it comes to finding out where in the hell that devil fruit user is". Absalom sighed. "Even if we did I bet she wouldn't turn him back into his normal self without us giving back her and her crew's shadows".

"Good point pervert pussy, but we have to try something or else he might be like this forever". Perona stated.

"Not likely Perona he'll just most likely grow back up and have to go through life again". Hogsback said. "Well by a scientific point of view I guess that theory could work".

"Doctor you do realize that in this whole world science is bull shit". Hildon pointed out.

As they continued to chew over their plans Baby Moria proved he still had his brain of an adult. He squirmed out of Cindry's arms and crawled over to a map of the Grand Line and continued to slap his hand on a certain spot. The five of them walked over to him and saw the location he was beating at.

"Pizza Island, Moria is that something you overheard that crew say when they were in coffins"? Hogsback questioned. The baby nodded his head and crawled back to Cindry.

"Doctor that island is about a ten day trip in a usual vessel". Hildon stated. "If we took Thriller Bark there we'd be there in about two weeks".

"Then it would just have to be the six of us and some back up". Hogsback said.

"Pervert you go and get your generals prepared for a voyage". Perona directed. "Only bring some though and then go prepare Embark for our departure. Remember to tell the servants to pack us plenty of food. Come on people the sooner we get him back to normal the sooner I can become the cutest princess in the whole world"! Absalom went invisible and went off to get his part of the job done while Perona walked back towards her cute garden.

"Hildon watch Master-sama with Cindry while I'll finish planning our course". Hogsback explained. "Make sure that she doesn't try and break anyone's knee plates". "Y-Yes doctor". Hildon agreed as Hogsback walked back into the smaller mansion.

"You know Master-sama is kind of adorable when he's sleeping". Cindry smiled.

"Well that's weird of you to smile". Hildon said.

"You never smile, so why now"? Cindry grinned, "That fool just left the room why else would I smile? You've never been here to see this until now. Now come we must find Master-sama something to eat so he won't break another window". Hildon sighed as they walked into the building, "Says the plate smasher".

**Please review this chapter, and thank you for those who reviewed it! The next one will be up before you know it!**


	3. Chapter 3: Hell Has Been Broken Somewhat

**Once more I don't own One Piece. :E**

As Embark pulled near the shore of the enormous island/ship a perverted general watched as his soldiers went aboard. Soon after some stitched up animal zombies came onto the ship carrying barrels and crates, and behind them was their princess. "Hey Absalom I thought up an alliteration while I was gathering up my minions"! Perona smiled.

"Fine just tell me so you won't whine to get me to hear it". He sighed.

Perona grinned, "A perverted pussy loves to playfully pluck off a prissy girl's puffy bra"! His face went as red as a cherry and he also got a nosebleed. Hogsback, Cindry carrying Baby Moria, and Hildon then came to the ship.

"Perona stop putting dirty thoughts into his tiny brain"! Hogsback barked. "He can barely control himself even when he's just by himself. Cindry hurry up we're leaving"!

"I soon hope to serve your head on a plate". She said bluntly. The doctor flinched and seemed to be paralyzed as she walked past him with his shrunken master smirking at his complete burn.

Once the members of Thriller Bark exited through the front gate the mysterious fog instantly began to thicken up as their main ship quickly vanished behind them.

The cabin door slowly creaked open as the devil fruit user shuddered at the very sight of the moonlight entering her room. "Captain we've arrived at the island". A crewmember told her. "They've also gotten your normal table ready for use". Fire burned in her eyes and hatred scorned her heart to its very essence. The next words she said would haunt her for many years to come.

"Tell them I'm not hungry". She stated. "Now leave me be in the darkness, besides I'll be here for a long while". Right as the door closed instead of empty silence it was filled with sorrow tears.

Some hours pasted as since the crew left and now all hell broke loose.

Perona went into Absalom's cabin and she came out screaming. Whereas after his door was slammed shut he wouldn't stop his nosebleed. A few zombies that heard her crying said something about her yelling out the word naked, and went they went to see her they were quickly sent to retrieve Hogsback.

Hildon was placed in charge of Baby Moria as Cindry and Hogsback went with the zombies to cure her so called blindness. Poor Hildon stared at his little master uneasily not knowing what to do with him.

"Um, well Moria-sama can you talk"? He asked.

The tiny infant flicked him off and crawled near a table cloth that was touching the ground, as soon as he got to the other side of the cloth the glass on top of the table fell. Once that glass fell it knocked over more test tubes and popped open a few blood bags along with it, and then blood spewed over the walls, ceiling, floor, and both boys.

"Cindry I told you that you can't break other zombie's knee plates". Hogsback stated. "I hope your own knee plates shatter into millions of tiny pieces that will never be picked up or found in all eternity". She darkly said. He started to tremble as they continued to walk down the hallway, and once they got to the door his jaw dropped down as he opened up the door.

The stitched up bat held a bloody baby in his arms while he tried to wipe some mysterious slime off of his wings.

"HILDON YOU IDIOT LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE WITH MY WONDERFUL BLOOD SAMPLES"! He screeched. "CINDRY CLEAN MASTER-SAMA UP WHILE I DEAL WITH THIS BEAST"! She walked over to the short bat and picked their master up and took him into the bathroom down the hall, and even from there curses and swears could be perfectly heard.

**Done with this chapter. Sorry for the wait but I was in Florida on vacation. Alas, please review this chapter! :J**


	4. Chapter 4: Clean Up

**Disclaimer: I don't own One Piece.**

As Cindry cleaned the blood samples off of my body I finally saw that the dead woman was washing me in a sink. I tried talking but just my luck I couldn't talk, and when I waved my arms around to try and communicate she picked me up and wrapped my naked body in a fluffy towel.

_"Goddammit I rue the day I stole that woman's shadow! When I get back to my rightful age I'm going to rip off her head and show her what it's like to be this height! Damn I hate being led around like a child"! _After that instant I quickly took notice that I _was_ a child and face palmed myself.

Hell, oh, hell I hated this whole thing to the point I only seemed to be steaming with anger. The undead female dressed me in a bunny suit but then changed her mind five more times. She dressed me up as a bunny, a honey bee, a trout, a ninja, a puppy, and a shrimp before she finally put me in overalls.

"Oh Master-sama you look so adorable, but if you want we can try bear suit". Cindry said.

Instantly I shook my head and arms sideways and thank hell she understood what I was saying this time. After picking stray lint pieces off of my suit she grabbed a bottle of milk and held it up to my face. I stared at her with my death glare and she only pinched my cheek.

_"If you think that I'm going to drink that then you have-" _Cindry shoved the tip of the bottle right into my mouth, and at first I squirmed but then the milk's flavor set in. The feeling felt so familiar that after drinking a few minutes I practically fainted into dreamland.

After putting down Baby Moria down for a nap she quietly shut the bedroom's door, and then Cindry looked at the huge mess that lied in the medical room. She seemed to smile as she watched some of the other servants clean the room till it was completely spotless, and they left as soon as Hogsback came back.

"Oh Cindry you did an excellent job cleaning up". He praised.

"Well I can't argue with that". She stated. "Where's Hildon"?

Hogsback evilly smirked, "I told him to hang around the front of the ship for a while".

Literally hanging at the front of the ship due to being tied to the front of it. Hildon was blindfolded, handcuffed, and had his mouth covered to make sure that he stayed there for a while.

**Till the next chapter. Review this chapter if you would.**


	5. Chapter 5: An Unknown Vistor

**Continuation from the fourth chapter…**

The master of Thriller Bark glared as evilly as he could in his baby form at his minions. They were eating dinner without him and he hadn't eaten anything since that bitch turned him into an infant.

"_Damn you all"!_ He thought. _"I swear when I get back to normal you'll all feel my wrath! My true shadowy powers will skin you all alive since I am the very name of evil"!_

"Would little Moria like a cookie"? Perona dangled a double chocolate chip cookie in front of his face.

His eyes grew like saucers and some drool escaped his mouth. Moria greedily took the cookie and the pastry vanished right as it went past his lips.

"P-Perona you shouldn't be feeding a baby junk food". Hogsback squeaked.

She glared at him, "Why not!? Look he already has a full set of teeth! Besides baby Moria likes his chocolate doesn't he"?

She turned back to her master and patted him on top of the head. He rubbed his growling belly in hunger and another cookie was placed into his tiny hands.

"I'm so happy, because little master knows how not to use plates". Cindry said emotionlessly. "Although we should be feeding him milk and actual baby food until he's back to normal Ghost Princess".

"No matter what you do I'll still give him a treat". Perona pouted. "That way when he's normal he'll finally be able to say yes for that puppy I've been begging him for". Baby Moria started to whine in protest since he still knew English but shut up as the girl stuffed a brownie into his mouth.

Absalom kicked open the door and came dashing in the dining room.

"Oh great Pervsalom's here". Perona groaned.

He growled, "Watch your tongue you pink haired witch! Either way I have great news about the person we're chasing down! Turns out the person who we're chasing name is Jewelry Bonney"!

Moria rolled his eyes, _"Yeah I've known that you perverted bastard, but too freaking bad I can't speak right now". _

"If we can kill her or turn her into the navy after getting Moria-sama back to normal then we can still make a profit off of her bounty". Absalom smirked. "Although if you guys don't want to do that then I can make her my bride".

Cindry sighed, "Every time you see a woman with a huge chest you just have to try and make her your bride don't you"?

The lion's face went red and some blood trickled out of his nose as he stared at Bonney's wanted poster instead of listening. Alas, even that was disturbed as everyone turned their attention to a sudden eerie explosion. Turns out their master's stomach was the source.

"Cindry you feed him". Three of them said.

She took the small baby up in her arms and grabbed another bottle of milk. Moria tried to fight the drinking of his milk again but found his stomach satisfied and himself asleep again. The undead woman set him down for another nap right as a large weight shift on the ship occurred on the top deck.

"What in the name of hell was that"!? Perona yelled upon spilling her tea on her skirt.

She sent a ghost up to investigate and as she saw what it saw her eyes widened in fear.

Hogsback frowned, "W-Who is it"?

"Bartholomew Kuma…" Perona gasped.

**Yes now you must wait until the next chapter! Kishishish, such a small act of evil on my own part! Sorry for the wait though, but I blame homework and school for that and I'm guessing you guys can as well. Either way until next time my readers/reviewers!**


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